So today is deadline day. I was toying with the idea of writing a kind of ‘final post’, but decided against this since I want to keep the blog open for further discussion and exploration over the summer and into my final year. Instead, then, I’m going to write a kind of summary of how the project has gone so far, and my plans for the future.
I have learnt a lot about myself during this project, challenging myself in uncomfortable but necessary ways. I know now that I want to continue doing this, building confidence and the conviction to say ‘I deserve to pursue this’. This has lent itself to me deciding to do a photo-based dissertation in my final year, something which I often shrugged off as not ‘academic enough’, that a 10,000-word project would be the only option for me to feel ‘truly achieved’. I’ve thrown that in the bin. I’m a creative, and I’m beginning to accept and embrace that.
In addition, From The Bottom Up has shown me that challenging taboo is my area of artistic interest. Spending weeks squished into toilet cubicles may not be everyone’s ideal way to spend a Saturday, but the practitioner I am now is worlds away from when I began, thanks to these weird and wonderful experiences. Despite some (or many) doubts throughout the project, I have submitted a photobook to print with work that I am proud of. This quote by Nan Goldin that I stumbled across during my research has resonated with me throughout the project, giving me a certain courage of my conviction when faced with doubts:
‘Don’t ask the same questions as everyone else’